Its kind of cold out!

Actually its not too bad. Im usually pretty good till just before the dawn when its the coldest. Im thinking about upgrading my sleeping bag to one that is better suited to the colder weather. I splurged last night and stayed in a cheap hotel. It was nice being in a warm bed but my back is killing me right now because of the bed.

Havent been on here lately, been working a lot and doing my art thing. I did sell a couple of pieces which is good news, I ended up making around $150.00 which ist a ton of money but its better than nothing. Work is going ok, its pretty easy work except for the fact I have to manage a bunch of whiney kids which can be a pain sometimes.

My SUV was running like crap the last few weeks luckily I figured it out and didn't have to take it to a mechanic. Its still running a little weird I think the battery needs to be replace because its hard to start in the  morning.

Really need to go to the gym more often really out of shape and gaining weight!

Any way thats all for now I probably wont be post a ton unless something weird happens and feel the need to write about it.

See ya!

Quicky

All is well haven't had much time to write much been busy.

IVe been doing my art again which im not sure if its a good idea or not. I love creating but at the same time I know I become obsessed and can loose track of other things. Im hoping to have a show of my latest work I just need to find a good venue for it.

well im tired, going to bed now....

Relationships and being homeless

Needless to say its not easy to have a relationship with someone when you homeless. The reason I mention this is because lately for what ever reason I have become somewhat popular with the opposite sex. Im not trying to brag, believe me I have no reason for bragging when it comes to women. Im not afraid to admit Im pretty much clueless when it come to the opposite sex.

But for some cruel reason I have had a few girls all of the sudden find me incredibly attractive. And excuse me for bragging this one time (even tho I said I wouldnt) but they are half my age and smoking hot!

So here is the problem, Im homeless. I cant exactly take them back to my place, and even tho im a guy I hate to lye to them but if I tell them the truth what happens if they decide to tell the world my problems? It could ruin me.

Luckily one of these girls was just looking for a one night stand and we spent it at her house. I was willing to make it more than that and tell her the truth if the relationship progressed but it doesn't look like thats what she wanted. There are a couple of other girls that are also interested in me but I think one was under the assumption that I had money (no idea why) so when I mentioned I was kind of broke right now she just kind of disappeared.

The other girl I just don't know what to do. She is nice very attractive but young around 22 (im a bit older) and she lives at home. I think im just going to have to see what happens, its not like we could really have a relationship. I mean why the heck would she want to go out with a homeless guy? That would freak me out if a girl told me the same thing before I was homeless.

Im also afraid they would ask me to move in with them if I did try to to start a relationship and I told them about my situation. I know that sounds weird being homeless and all but I really don't think it would be fair to them to just jump into a relationship like that and expect them to let me just move in with them.

ANy way I guess its nice to have these problems right now. It definitely makes life interesting.

Obamacare

Ok I usually like to stay away from political crap but since I have some experiance with this Im going to go ahead and tell you all a story.

As I have mentioned in the past I was self employed for 12 years. For much of that time I didnt have health insurance because I couldn't afford it. Ive always had issues with my back but a couple of years ago It really started to bother me to the extent I couldn't stand the pain any more. My only option was to go to a clinic that excepted people with no insurance and helped people without a lot of money pay there bills.

So I made an appointment to see the doc there. It took several weeks before I could see someone because the clinic is always so busy. My first visit the doc basicaly gave me some Ibuprophen and told me if it wasnt any better in a few weeks to come back. Well it didnt get any better so I made another appointment witch took about another month to see the doc again. Now realize this whole time Im in a huge amound of pain to the extent I couldn barly get out of bed in the morning and it took several hours of walking around before I could stand upright.

So after my second visit to the doctor he tells me he thinks it best If I get physical therapy. Ok. Im thinking we are getting somewhere, so I call them up to make an appointment. Guess what its going  to be another month before I can see anyone...

If your keeping track its been over 2 months and still have some serious pain. I should mention that I did go to the emergency room at one point because the pain was so bad and they gave me some stronger meds. The meds helped the pain some but really doesn't help in the long run and after the meds run out im just in pain again.

So I finally get to do some physical therapy and im thinking my back if finally going to start getting better. But I couldn't have been more wrong.

Without going into too much detail after 3 weeks of physical therapy my back is worse than ever.

Yea thats right worse. Its one of those things where you trust the people your working with. I mean "do no harm" right! And I just did what they told me to do even when I felt in my gut my back wasn't getting any better and told them the stuff they had me do was painful and it felt like my back wasn't getting any better they just ignored me and kept doing there thing.

I look back at that now and now and know they were just going though the motions with me and since I didn't have insurance they new they weren't getting any money from me so why should they even try to fix the problem.

Ok so know I can barley walk after 3 months of waiting and doctor appointments and useless physical therapy.

Now my doctor is telling me Im going to have to go the "pain clinic". Which is where they basically give you a shot of I think steroids in your back to elevate the pain and help strengthen your back. THe problem with this is every time you get one of these shots your back deteriorates a little and in the long run gets much worse.

I make an appointment with the pain clinic and guess what? Its going to be 3 more weeks before they can see me!

Joy of joys 3 more weeks of being in a huge amount of pain. I can barley get out of be in the morning, I cant do much work if any, Im having a hard time paying my bills because I cant work and Im falling into a great deal of depression and wondering if its would be better just to end my life.

Yea it was that bad and no im not exaggerating! I put some serious thought into suicide.

But there is a silver lining around this cloud. The last time I saw my doctor and he thought it best to go to the pain clinic he also thought it would be a good idea to get a visit from a new group who worked with people in my situation. Its another type of physical therapy where they come to your house and show you how to do some exercises and also check out your home for possible issues that might be causing the pain to begin with like the mattress in your bed or if you have chairs and such that could be causing back pain. I think the name of the company was Invictus but cant be positive because this all happened several years ago.

So this is what happened. They show up at my house about a week later and basically did a bunch of paper work, assess my back pain and tell me I need to get one of those rubber inflatable exercise balls. A few days later  this lady shows up  and shows me how to do a few simple stretches.

Oh my god! I cannot tell you how much better I felt almost immediately! It was like.. I don't know something wonderful like riding a unicorn while eating a gallon of ice cream with a nakid supermodel riding in my lap kind of wonderful!

Literally within a week my back is 100% better. I canceled my appointment with the "pain clinic" and life is good again.

So this took about 4 months and all I needed was a freaking exercise ball and someone to show me how to do some stretches....

So after all of this do I think Obamacare is a good Idea?

Yes!

Beautiful Sleep

I finally got a sleeping bag to keep me warm at night and it is wonderful!

Its a cheap $40.00 coleman but it dropped to about 30 degrees last night and was totally comfortable. It so nice to get a good nights sleep.

that is all...

Been Busy

Ok so the job going pretty well, I have a boat load to learn but I think everyone is happy with the way things are going. As I mentioned the pay still sucks but its better than what I was getting so thats good, plus I've got a consistent work schedule now so thats good. My boss also told me they plan on making me the boss in another year because the guy that runs it now is planning on going to another site. The pay would be much better but im not sure if this is something I want to do or not, I guess I will just have to play things out and see what happens.

Its going to be a cold winter! Ive already had a few nights that I had a hard time sleeping because of the cold. I have a few ideas on solutions just need to try a few and see what works best. Constantly worried about my SUV, its running ok now but who knows whats going to happen next week.

Feeling a little better about things lately im starting to get excited about my art again and Im creating a new series of images. I wish I could post them here but cant run the chance of someone recognizing me.

ANd don't even mention the reds to me!

Promotion

I got a promotion at work the other day. Kind of....

THe pay is still not that great ($12.00hr) but I think I will like this postion a lot better than my last. Im going to be in a supervisor roll in charge of around 12 employees. Im also going to be working 1st shift instead of 3rd which im not sure if its a good thing or not. When im working 3rd shift I dont have to worry as much about it getting too cold during the day when I get to sleep. But know im going to be sleeping at night and its going to be tough to stay warm, im just going to have to figure something out.

Have to run the reds game is on this afternoon and dont want to miss it.

GO REDS!

Things I dont understand

So I called my boss today to complain about my supervisor being a total bitch and control freak. He offered to promote me to a supervisory position at another site....

Not sure if this is good or bad just yet since I was planning on quitting in another couple of months anyway.

To be continued.

Moral Values (or lack of)

Many of you may know from reading my other posts that I was raised in a conservative blue collar middle class family with all the regular moral values that come with that kind of life. I remember when things were going well for me how I would see people on the street throwing trash on the ground or relieving themselves in public, getting into fights or god forbid stealing from a store. I would get so mad and think, why do people do this sort of thing why didn't anyone ever teach these people right from wrong.

Well let me tell you right now, I know these things are wrong and you shouldn't do them but....

Yea, thats right I am know a littering, peeing in public (although not too public), food steeling son of a bitch! Now I know these are not the worst things a person could possibly do and some are quite trivial (like littering) but you have to understand this is about the change that has happened within me and is a major change to my own personality. I know I've said it before but Im going to say it again. You just dont know what its like being homeless until you've actually done it!

Lets start with the whole littering thing. I hate to do it but sometimes if there is not a garbage can around I dont have much choice. I could keep it in my car but then my car stinks and it takes up space which I cant afford. So yea I litter sometimes.

The peeing outside thing is just unavoidable. Most if not all buisness wont let you use there restrooms if you dont buy something. And if I have to go in the middle of the night im not going to run around town looking for a restroom thats open. I do try to be discreet tho so if you happen to see someone peeing in your bushes its not me.

Stealing. Its tough for me to admit it but yea it happens. When you have no money and you need food or something like inserts for your shoes because the job you have requires you to stand for 8hrs a day and you have bad feet its necessary. I never steal from the mom and pop places but from the larger stores like Walmart and CVS. Not that that makes it right but at least I feel like im stealing from the evil empire. Now that I have a job I hardly ever do it any more but when I was really hurting for money it was a daily thing I had to do.

As you know everything I own is in my car, and if I loose any of it my life could take a serious turn for the worse. I mention this because its hard for the average person to relate to this. Its hard to image what your life is like living on a line and if you cross this line your life could very well be over. For this reason I am very protective of my belongings and if anyone ever tried to steal from me I would fight them because my life very well might depend on it.

When your fighting for your life you will do things your not always proud of but you really dont have a choice if you want to survive. This change in attitude is something that is both good and bad. The bad is obvious. The good is a little bit harder to see. I used to be the kind of person who took a lot of shit from people and wouldn't say anything and sty in line. Not so much any more. I am also beginning to understand some things about myself that I didn't realize before and although its been a long trip down to the bottom I think im only becoming a stronger and better person because of it.

On My Way to Work

Yea it sucks...

The job I have been working is not too bad, I just cant stand the people I work with.

There is the guy who wont shut up, the superviser who is a control freak, the getto chick who talks crap all night and the 20 year old who thinks he knows everything. I know it sounds like im just bitching but believe me Im the kind of guy who can get along with just about everyone but these people are going to drive me nuts.

I need to find a new job soon!

My Car

Ok so the whole car thing is really scaring me. It been running rough the last few days and the transmission is starting to go. Not sure what im going to do if it breaks down on me.

Im going to pull the spark plugs this afternoon and hopefully I can at least get it running well enough to last a few more months.

Life Lessons from the Homeless Shelter - Parent Blogs - Cincinnati Family Magazine

Life Lessons from the Homeless Shelter - Parent Blogs - Cincinnati Family Magazine

Oh Mitt

Not much of a political type but Mitts comments this week made me a little sick. This article pretty much sums it up for me.

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120921/COL/309210204/Big-Mama-no-moocher?odyssey=mod|newswell|text|FRONTPAGE|p

Worry

So I think Im coming down with a cold or something which kind of scares me. I havent been sick in awhile and not sure what to do if I come down with something serious. I didn't have this problem when I was living out west because it never got too cold and the air was a lot cleaner. I just hope it will pass and try to stay fit and eat right.

My car is also starting to run a little rough, hopefully its nothing serious. I changed the air filter, PVC valve and checked the spark plug wires and everything seemed ok. I really cant afford to have any major problems right now with my car, the job Ive been working isn't exactly the highest paying job in the world. Hopefully it will last at least until the end of the year, maybe I can afford to buy a new used car by then.

I have probably mentioned this before but these minor problems can become life threatening to someone who is homeless. Most people just dont realize how difficult this type of life can be. I think the majority just think its a matter of pulling your self up and working hard and doing the right thing but when a simple cold has the possibility of becoming a major problem its not always as easy as that.

This is one of those times I feel like im not making much sense, I worked 3rd shift last night and im king of tired.

see ya...

GO REDS!

Kids, families slide into poverty

Heres the story
http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120919/NEWS/309190175&Ref=AR

Dont know why these kids just dont get jobs! The lazy bums all they do is sit around, drinking and do drugs while riding around on there costume tri-cycles and sponging off the welfare system.

This is the attitude of a lot of americans and I find it sickening. Why this country doesn't realize the way we have been doing things for the past 70 years or so years doesn't work is beyond me.

It might cost us some upfront money but if we spend a little now we can save a whole generation of kids.

Man Crossing Street

Just a few minutes ago I saw a man crossing the street.
The cross walk sign was red.
Cars drove past beeping and people cursing at him.
When he got to the corner he crossed the street again against the light.
People yelling, cars coming close to hitting him.
He wasn't even looking to see if he was going to get hit or not.
He didn't care.
Probably hoping to be struck down by someone not paying attention.
Hoping for his life to end.

Looking for Work

So if you've been reading any of my posts you will know I really dont like the job I'm at right now.

So if any one our there is hiring let me know! Im looking for something in the creative field but will do just about anything.

The $50.00 Lesson

Maybe because the homeless guy is disabled, either mentally or physically. Or more likely you wouldn't actually hire him to cut your law because he is homeless.

Giving and the Poor

I was listening to NPR the other day and they had a story about the percentage of income people give to charities. I was very surprised to find out that people with a lower income give a higher percentage of there annual salary than people with a higher income. The reason behind this is people who don’t make as much understand what its like to be poor so they tend to want to help more often.

This is a very interesting fact and one that I never realized. I had always thought the Bill Gates of the world (not to single him out) were very giving and donated a lot of money to charities and I just assumed they gave more of a percentage of their income than most.

Imagine if the richest in this country gave as much of a percent as the lower income. Im not going to figure out the numbers because I’m just too lazy, but I’m guessing the amount of money would be significant, probably enough that the U.S government would no longer need to worry about spending our tax dollars on welfare and more than likely enough to help the mentally ill who are out wondering the streets everyday with no one to help them.

I bring this topic up because of what I’ve been hearing a lot lately about the homeless and people on welfare mostly from the right wing republicans out there. Mostly the same old “get a job” quotes or the idea I’ve been hearing a lot from the right about drug testing for people on welfare which is totally ridiculous if you really put some thought into it. You have to realize that people on welfare also have children, so if you stop helping the adults you end up hurting there kids as well.

I’ve been homeless now for about 7 months and have really changed my attitude toward the homeless. I guess the “travel a mile in my shoes” analogy is really true, you just don’t know how difficult it is to pull yourself up from the gutter. Everything seems to be against you.  Weather its trying to get a job without an address or being hassled by the cops for just trying to get a good nights sleep your life is a constant uphill battle and you just don’t know what that is like until you are forced into that situation. I grew up in a very conservative blue-collar environment where its believed if you are work hard you will succeed and everything will be just great. Well let me tell you that’s not always the case. I busted my ass and put my heart and sole into my business and still failed.

The Joys of Bathing When Homeless.

Ok, there are no joys of bathing when homeless…

One thing you should know about me is I’m a bit of a clean freak. Not like crazy washing my hands every 15min freaky but I do like to shower every day and stay smelling good and feeling fresh. It definitely has a positive effect on your attitude when you can be around other people and not worry about offending them because you stink.

I remember when I was out west for a few months I could only shower at an outdoor site and didn’t have hot water. Let me tell you having a cold shower when it 50 degrees outside is not fun. Talk about an eye opener, Wow!  Other times I’ve had to fill up a few gallons of water and just find a spot where know body was around.

You never really appreciate some things until you don’t have them any more.

Luckily I have a gym membership now so most days I just shower there every morning. The only problem is they are not open on weekends and even though they open early in the morning, sometimes its not early enough for me to stop in and still get to work on time.  So I have to do the bum shower at the local coffee shop, they have a restroom where I can lock the door so at least I have some privacy.

And just so you know coffee shop employees; I always clean up after myself, so don’t get mad at me!

Feeling Better Today

Ok so after a couple of days off im feeling much better today, I think I just needed to get some sleep.

So im looking at web design as a possible carrear choice. I know a little HTML now and have the Dreamweaver program so I think after I get some money in the bank im going to look into taking some classes on the internet and see how things go.

Its amazing how you can turn things around with just a little sleep.

I often wonder how the truly down and our deal with this. I mean at least I live in my car where I am protected from the elements and can get a decent nights sleep. But what about the ones who live on the streets? Its got to be almost impossible to get motivated enough to go out and get a job or try to improve your situation when you are constantly worrying about getting enough food and sleep.

More on this later.

Failure

Ok so just a warning my next few blog posts are going to be a bit dark and self obsessed but you have to realize I’m not writing this for your benefit but for mine.

As I mentioned in my previous post a client call me up yesterday wanting to hire me for a quick job. Unfortunately I can’t do it because I’ve sold all my equipment. I wrote back to the client in an email telling them that I am no longer working as a artist and have moved on to bigger and better things. Not exactly the truth but it sound better then "I had to sell all my equipment and I am now living in my car, plus I’m working a lousy job that I cant stand so I cant do the work that I love".

So as you can imagine this kind of really sucks.  This is the first time I had to let a client know I’m no longer in business and its really hard for me to admit to my failure.

So lets talk about failure for a minute. When I was younger I always told myself that I would never look back and that you do the best you can and you will always succeed in what you do. No regrets.

Now that I’m older and have gone thru some pretty shitty times I find myself full of regrets, I find myself wishing I had done things differently. I have never been one to blame other people for my problems and I hate to start now but I wish when I was younger I would have had someone to push me more, whether it was in school or with my personal life I always felt like I had to rely on myself to do everything. I never asked for help from friends or family and always kept everything to myself when things weren’t working out.

I’m kind of at a loss now. I’m not sure where my life is going and I feel like I have missed so may opportunities that now I just need to keep my head down and just deal with it, which is really hard for me to do. I want to succeed but I’ve just been so beaten down over the last few years I’m afraid to even try any more. I’m constantly thinking about just running off somewhere and quitting this job I’ve been doing but I know if I do that I will just end up in a worse situation than I’m already in.

I keep trying to think of something positive to say here but I just cant. Even now my reaction is to try to act like everything is ok but its really not. I get my next paycheck in about 10 days maybe then I will feel better knowing that I will have enough money to eat and buy a few things that I really need. But I know that will only be a temporary fix and I will be back to this depression before too long.

Just Got a Call From...

A client I've done some work for in the past. THey left me a message telling me they wanted to hire me for a job.

So this is the firs time I get to tell someone I'm no longer in buisness....

Not going to be easy.

Tired, Hot, and My Job Sucks

Not sure it its the sleeping pills I took last night or the fact that I havent had a day off in two weeks but im in a real shitty mood today.

My boss at the new job is a control freak! I cant stand people like this, which is probably why I enjoyed being self employed for so long. Im just not very good at being told what to do. Now dont get me wrong, I understand you have to do your job and I have always prided myself in doing the best I can but when your boss has to micromanage everything and obviously has control issues I just shut down mentally and put myself on auto pilot.

Yea, its hot and I cant sleep! Ive been working 3rd shift the last few days and have only been getting about 4hrs of sleep a night, actually I get off work at 7am so Ive been sleeping in the morning hrs. The temperature starts to get too hot around noon to sleep in my car, I tried some sleeping pills but now I just feel all mediciny head and in a bad mood. Cant wait till fall!

Ok done with this rant hopefully when I get on here next I will be in a better mood...

The FIne Art of SUV Maintenance

Today I fixed my brakes! I spent $22.00 on brake pads and it only took me about an hour to change the pads out, I figured I save around $200.00 by doing it myself.

Its funny to think that the most important thing in my life right now is my SUV. Without it I have nowhere to live, no way to get to work, no shelter or place to sleep and nowhere to keep all my stuff. So yea its kind of important I keep it running and in good conditions.

I try to do all my own mechanical work. I have a decent amount of tools to do most jobs, and consider myself pretty handy. In the past I have replaced spark plugs, spark plug wires, fuel filters, fuel injectors, belts, starters, alternators and a few other odds and ends.

Oddly enough the only thing I dont do myself is change the oil because of the mess it creates and I just dont want to deal with it.

Hopefully in a few months I will be able to afford a newer more reliable vehicle but for now I just have to hope my current car stays together a little while longer.

PayDay!!!

So I was down to my last penny when payday came around this week. I think I have lost about 10lbs from not eating (not that I couldn't stand to loose a few pounds). Hopefully from what I made from this paycheck will get me to the next, I should be fine money wise after that since I really dont have many bills.

Thats the great thing about being homeless! No rent, no utility bills, I dont have to buy furniture or renters ins either. Of course you can imagine the down sides. Like being woken by a cop early this morning. He shined his flashlight inside my car but must not have been able to see me because after a minute of looking he got back in his car and left. Unfortunately I couldn't get back to sleep after that and have to work 3rd shift tonight so im definitely going to have to catch a nap sometime today.

I do need to think about getting a new vehicle, the one im driving is fine for now but has a ton of miles on it and im not sure how much longer its going to last.

Not liking the new job too much, they ended up putting me in a very important post which is fine but im really not making anymore money for doing more work, which is kind of annoying. I will probably be asking for a raise before too long even though I've only been there for a few weeks. Im probably going to stick it out for a few months and then move or find a new job somewhere else. I love Cincinnati but I'm not to sure how things will go this winter being outside all the time.

Thats all for now, have to get the laundry done then clean out my SUV. Its good to eat again!!!

Go Reds!!!

I expect them to win the division this year and then make it to the World Series. One of my favorite things to do in the summer is listen to them on the radio in my car. Marty and the Cowboy work great together and really make the game enjoyable.

Trying to dumb myself down

Yea thats kind of pathetic but that is exactly what I have been doing over the last few months. I used to read, watch documentaries, go to art museums and art happenings here in Cincinnati. I used to always try to improve myself and keep up with current world events.

But I just cant do it anymore, whenever I try to inspire myself to do anything it just gets me all fired up which always leads to disappointment. I just can’t deal with the failure any more.

I know that sound messed up but for the time being at least I’m just going to turn myself into another ignorant American. Head to the grind stone and just do what the boss tells me, I think I will just be happier that way.

The New Job

So like I mentioned in some older posts I’ve gotten a new job. I am actually making a little more then I thought I would 11.00hr – 11.50 an hour after 60 days or something like that. I really don’t mind the pay so much although I’m used to making a lot more it’s the job itself that I’m having some troubles with.

I used to work in a creative field with other creative’s working toward a common goal on large projects. I would sometimes put in 12hr days and others only a couple but every day I worked I enjoyed myself and couldn’t wait till the next job came my way.

Now however, “its just another job”. I think I’ve heard this from several fellow employees over the last few days. Almost everyone seams to just be there for the paycheck and cant wait to get out of there at the end of the day.  I really have a hard time working in an environment like this.

I had to cover for a guy today that left early for work for personal reasons, the guys job was so mundane that I felt like screaming after about an hr. I really started to get that familiar “I have to get the fuck out of here feeling” I get when I’m stuck in a job like this. I just had to keep reminding myself I need the money because I really do, I’m down to my last 10 dollars and I don’t get paid for a week. Needless to say things could get really interesting in the next few days.

That’s all for now. I’m exhausted….

Getting a Job Without an Address

I think I have been lucky so far with the whole ID issues and being homeless. I’ve been using the same address I had at my last residence for resumes. I know the laws in other states are different but when I recently had to renew my license I just told them I still lived at the same address and they took me at my word. You can even change your address online if you need to which might come in handy down the road. But if your homeless in Ohio and don’t already have a drivers license then you have to show proof of residence along with an SS card.

There are homeless shelters and maybe even some churches that will let you use there address if your homeless but I prefer to stay away from such places and I’m guessing that some employers know these address and when they see them on your resume they just throw your resume to the trash pile.

I was a little worried about the address issue with the company I just started working for, they do a pretty thorough background check and even finger print and run you through some sort of national registry. But everything checked out ok, and since this company directly transfers my paycheck into my bank account I don’t have to worry about receiving anything in the mail from them.

As far as my other bills and such (phone, insurance, and bank account) I haven’t had a problem with them yet. Before I moved out I just went paperless and pay all my bills online. I will say tho that my bank knows I no longer live at my listed address. Whenever I go online to check my account I’m asked to update my address, but I just choose the option to “do it later” (for the last 5 months) and haven’t had any problems. I’m guessing as long as they have my money they don’t really care where I live.

So I now have a job that I start this morning at 10:30. I will keep you all posted with how it goes.

The Joys of Bathing When Homeless.

Ok, there are no joys of bathing when homeless…

One thing you should know about me is I’m a bit of a clean freak. Not like crazy washing my hands every hour freaky but I do like to shower every day and stay smelling good and feeling fresh. It definitely has a positive effect on your attitude when you can be around other people and not worry about offending them because you stink.

I remember when I was out west for a few months I could only shower at an outdoor site and didn’t have hot water. Let me tell you having a cold shower when it 50 degrees outside is not fun. Talk about an eye opener, Wow!  Other times I’ve had to fill up a few gallons of water and just find a spot where know body was around.

You never really appreciate some things until you don’t have them any more.

Luckily I have a gym membership now so most days I just shower there every morning. The only problem is they are not open on weekends and even though they open early in the morning, sometimes its not early enough for me to stop in and still get to work on time.  So I have to do the bum shower at the local coffee shop, they have a restroom there where I can lock the door so at least I have some privacy.

And just so you know coffee shop employees; I always clean up after myself, so don’t get mad at me!

Profile of a Homeless Person

Whats A Homeless Person Look Like?

When most people think of homeless people the image that comes to mind is your average dirty smelly guy on the street corner holding up a sign that says “will work for food” or “god bless please help” or the crazy person who is yelling at the invisible guy sitting next to him on the bus, and to be honest I would have thought the same thing a few months ago before I started living in my car. I would have never thought you could hold down a job or have your own business while being homeless. Yet I have met several people on the streets that you would never guess to be homeless.

I once met a guy who was 70 years old, retired and lived in a VW bus. When I asked him why he lived this way he told me because he felt totally free living on his own, he had no bills to pay, no tax man chasing him down, no phone to answer and he could move to a different part of the country whenever he wanted. He was absolutely free to do whatever he wanted.

Another man I met from Canada owned a farm and during the off-season he would come to the U.S and just travel for several months living in his car until his visa ran out. I don’t meet to many girls who live in there cars but have met a couple that you would have never guessed lived in there cars. One girl I met was from Germany who was being paid by her company to go to College here in the U.S. She decided to live in her car instead of pay for rent so she could save the money for her future. The other was an artist who just graduated from college and was looking for galleries to show here work.

Some of the homeless people I meet just find jobs when they needed them some I suspect were probably collecting government checks but most just fended for themselves doing odd jobs or perhaps others were laid off from there jobs and just living on unemployment for the time being. I also met a few other starving artists like myself who were just trying to find their way.

The reason you would never know these people are homeless is because they take great pains in not letting people know that they are homeless. Like me they “keep up appearances” to avoid being judged by there friends, bosses or family. They shower every day they keep there clothes neat and pressed they don’t go around telling everyone they are homeless, they don’t break the law (at least no major ones), and they don’t beg for handouts and generally stay out of everyone’s way. Unless you are homeless yourself you would have a hard time recognizing these people.

My closest friends and family have no idea I’m homeless although it pains me a lot to lie to them, I think they are better off not knowing, by sparing them the worry and inevitable fight that would ensue from knowing, many of them would probably take me in if they found out but I would have to refuse there offer. You can say I’m pig headed or stubborn but I know what’s best for me and right now I’m not willing to take the hand out.

I have been getting by from selling off my equipment from my previous career and also from doing the occasional job, but those jobs are far and few between and im about to run out of money. Luckily I have an interview for later this week. But I’m going to keep that story for another post.

Car Living

So what’s it like living in your car? Its not easy and definitely not for everyone. Luckily I have a SUV so there it a bit of room to sleep in at night but not as much as the VW vans I see many people living in. I wish I could afford to get one myself the newer ones are pretty nice.

The toughest thing about living in my car is you have no bathroom. Which makes it very difficult to keep clean and you have to use public restrooms thing, which took me some time to get used to.

I found a community gym here in Cincinnati that have showers so I lucked out there. They also give me a chance to work out a little to keep me from getting too soft. I think its very important to stay in shape when your homeless because you need to stay healthy because I just cant afford to get sick or injured.

I spend a lot of time in coffee shops and the library. Because I have a laptop I can get any work that I might need to do done and it’s a great source of entertainment for hot days like today when its just too dam hot outside. The problem with having a laptop tho is that it pretty much needs to go everywhere I go especially when its hot out and the inside of my car can get over 100 degrees. I also have to carry around an external drive that holds most of my backups.

I try not to drive around too much because of the cost of gas. So I mostly hang out in one neighborhood. I take the bus sometimes but also walk a lot to where I need to be. Because im low on cash every cent counts and lately I’ve been trying not too spend any more that I absolutely have too. Its tough to eat on the cheap and not eat at fast food places but when your hungry there is nothing cheaper than the dollar menu at McDonalds. I also park at one of the local parks and will sit in my car and read a lot ( when its not too hot!)

Finding a place to sleep at night has always been a challenge. I try to find places that have a combination of low foot traffic, so I don’t have to worry about people seeing me and calling the cops, a safe area so I don’t get mugged, and a quiet location so I can get some sleep. I have three different locations I have been using lately, I try not to stay at one place more then two nights in a row for fear of becoming recognized.

I really need to get some window tint for my windows. I bought some do it your self stuff once but it was a complete failure trying to apply it. If I get some extra money that would definitely be something I would pay some one to do for me.

The heat this summer is really killing me, I don’t mind it too much during the day but a night it sometimes makes it impossible to sleep. I cant wait until fall….

About Me

How I Got Here

After starting my own business 12 years ago things really went south this past year, clients stopped calling and the bills started piling up. I couldn’t pay my rent or credit card bill and really didn’t want to burden my friends or family. So I decided to try moving out of the City and see if I could find work somewhere else. After packing up everything I could fit into my SUV and selling or giving away everything else I headed west.

Ive always had a roof under my head so living in my car was a huge adjustment for me, its one of those things that you really cant understand until you actually have to do it. Luckily the city where I ended up staying in was somewhat tolerant of people like me and I met a few others who also lived in their cars as well that taught me how to get by.

After a few months the summer started getting really hot and the work there was no better than in Cincinnati so I decided to return where I knew some people and at least what I thought at the time would be cooler and easier to live in.

So im back in the Nati and still living in my car. Believe it or not I don’t mind not having a roof over my head too much. Ive gotten used to it and the pressure of paying bills and living a more simple life has really help relieve some of the stress in my life and in some ways made me happier than I have been in years.

I will be updating this blog as often as I can, its going to appear a little scatterbrained at first so bear with me. Im going to start by telling you about my past experiences until I get caught up with what’s happening now in my life. To all of the grammar Nazis please forgive me. I’m not much of a writer but I think there are a lot of people who can benefit from what I have to say.